Relationship Advice – 26 Awesome Tips To Heal a Heartbreak Fast

So you were sucked in, lied to, betrayed, deceived. . .

If you were in that relationship for a long time, it probably wasn’t all bad, regardless of the humiliation you may have suffered at the end. Surviving such an ordeal and getting over it quickly just requires some self-awareness, a little perspective, and taking some responsibility.

You were in it for something. You allowed them in. Initially it might have been just for sex, and then it turned into more, or so they assured you. It became intimate and you allowed yourself to bond with this person, for a while at least. You became accustomed to their presence and this is the hole they leave behind. You don’t miss the loathsome piece of crap who hurt you─no, not one bit─you miss the enjoyable hours you naively spent with SOMEONE you thought was honorable and worthy of your time. Likely, there was a routine you followed like clockwork most of the time. It is this routine you miss, not them.

So if we boil all this down, getting over a heartbreak only requires admitting you f-cked up, some time management adjustments, and filling some holes. (Double entendre intended.)

adult black and white breast close up
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There are a huge number of SOMEONES out there waiting for you.

The following twenty-six short segments were prompted by the letters of the alphabet to help you get back out there. Some are direct; some metaphorical; some even border on being poetic; and there are a couple where I was just having fun. I hope they help.


Abhor everything about them; you have every right, but do so while adjusting your lifestyle to fill the void in your day created by their absence. DO THINGS YOU ENJOY during the hours you once so generously allocated to them.


Don’t backslide. All to often, the bitch or bastard will attempt a reconciliation of some kind. Don’t believe their bullshit. Don’t remember the person you thought or hoped they were, remember the person they showed themselves to be at the end.


Cut them off if you can. Avoid any communication until you realize you are content with your life once again, having replaced them with other equally or more enjoyable things to do. Find calm. Leave all the people and places behind where your ex may crouch.


Study their deception just long enough to see the warning signs you missed or chose to deny, and learn the lesson so you never repeat this mistake again.


Eagerly entertain and explore the possibilities of new people and places worthy of your efforts.


Do not fabricate or fall for an illusion of who someone is based on a facade or pretty face.


Avoid another gaffe by keeping your guard up. Don’t go gaga over the next person who has some game.


Don’t choose habit over happiness. It will leave you feeling hollow.


Scrap or at least evaluate your flawed ideals to keep idiocy out of your life for good.


Do not jeopardize your happiness for jackasses. Jettison the jerks. It should be noted that by definition these terms are not reserved for men only. We must be more equitable in this day and age.


Enjoy kamikaze lovers for a time while you heal. You know, the ones who swoop down on you despite your efforts to fight them off, and yet somehow get through to finish with a bang.


Do not lament lackluster love laden with lameness.


Master your madness. Mellow out. Manufacture a mantra to marginalize the moron.


Get naughty and naked with the nameless, namely to get a nap naturally.


Don’t let the opinions of the oblivious create obstructions to your objectives.


Only when your inner peace becomes palpable should you parley with the parasite.


Take time to develop a qualitative approach to your next relationship.


Recognize people who would make you their raison d’être. Their rationalizations are rarely in touch with reality.


Simplistically speaking, sex substantially solves symptoms of sadness.


Temper temptations tending towards tears.


The unwary cannot untangle untruths created by the unwholesome.


Vacant vanity vacillates.


With wisdom you wake to witness the witless wrongdoer and their worth.


In mathematics, the letter X represents an unknown. So does your ex. (Hah! You didn’t think I could do it.)


You matter. They shouldn’t.


Be zealous in your pursuit of happiness and zestful when you find it.


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